Eurovision 2018 – the Grand Final

Well I told you it’d be a vintage year and well worth tuning in for, but I did not expect that. What a night! Let’s try to put some of the craziness in context. I’m not even sure where to begin.

So Eurovision 2018 gave us a huge variety of music with many genres represented. In my lifetime I never thought I’d see anyone stage dive at Eurovision! The way the initial jury voting went the field wide open with any of 6 or 7 songs that could have won. There was pop, metal, dance, ballads, opera and loads of different languages on show, mainly by people who all looked the same. So much for diversity, but baby steps. We also had four female presenters, none of them particularly gifted in comedy or the essential schmoozy green-room chat, but fully female-fronted is a big deal. This was especially obvious as creep after creep giving the jury votes commented on their appearance, hilariously the Portuguese man was the absolute worst. He made my ovaries cringe and shrivel up inside me. Ick.

The international juries allegedly made up of music industry experts were hilariously out of step with what the people wanted. Them and the voting public disagreed on almost everything. If the pop experts had the final say Austria would have won. The rest of us struggled desperately to remember which song that was.

The real shock of the night, for UK fans at least, was the stage invasion. Some nutter (who it turns out has previous at these sort of things) decided to steal SuRie’s big moment for a cause that seems to make him very angry and unfortunately for him incoherent. She was offered a chance to perform again as the last song of the night, after Italy, and turned it down. I don’t think that was a wise choice as now we’ll never know if an uninterrupted performance might have helped her woeful overall score. Our new national hero is Australian commentator Joel Creasey saying what Graham Norton was far too polite to:

This joke was painfully accurate:

And all the stuff about our relations with Europe seemed to make sense on the surface…

BUT! Last year we came 15th! And the Brexit vote took place 11 months before that competition. Were Europe trolling us all this time? Giving us false hope in 2017 before putting the boot in a year later? Harsh!

Even with the new split vote system 43 counties voting takes an interminably long time. And I know Salvador Sobral is Portugal’s hero for winning in 2017 and recovering from a heart transplant in time to perform, but two songs during the halftime act was at least one too many, especially as he was one of many performers. That one item felt like it lasted several hours. How we miss Petra and Mans from Sweden who presented in 2016 and their comedy song that was actually funny. Now that’s what I call an interval act.


More disappointing even than the stage invasion or the miserable UK score was the instant negative knee jerk reaction to Israel’s Netta winning from seemingly quite a large section of the internet, and comments on her weight. It doesn’t matter to some people that it was one of the best songs and most entertaining performances of the night. You stay classy pop fans.

It really didn’t help that Sr. Salvador had called Israel’s song horrible and insists fairly often that his music is real music, dismissing everyone else’s efforts as noise like a grumpy uncle sniffing that back in his day everything was better. Hilariously he had to present Netta with the trophy. I bet she had to prize his claws of it one by one.

Portugal Eurovision Song Contest
Let it go Salvador – she won it fair and square

And 2019 in Israel? The tensions of this year are going to look like a stroll round Parque Eduardo VII in comparison…

Well all that aside, well done to everyone involved in making it a night to remember, however small but significant your role:

And thank you blog fans for giving my best tweet of the night one last airing.

Let’s go out on a high – same time next year? One cluck for yes, one brrrip for no.

Author: sarahhamstera

Mum always warned me watching too much tv would give me square eyes - let's find out if that's true! TV reviewer at Birmingham, UK

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