Danny Dyer’s Right Royal Family – BBC1

Danny Dyer’s National Television Award’s speech was dedicated to Harold Pinter, his unlikely theater mentor ,with typical passion and flair. “He believed in me when no-one else did. I’m getting all fucking emotional, I don’t now what’s the matter with me, for fuck’s sake,” he said. Underneath that geezer posturing he’s built a career on, he’s got a serious but uplifting message; “To all you young kids living out there in poverty, who don’t think they have a right to hope or dream or believe, do not let where you’ve come from define where you’re going in life. You can be whoever you want to be.” Sure Danny has got the swagger in spades, but what he’s got to say is worth listening to. And despite his humble upbringing he’s got quite a story to tell.

Last week we saw the first episode of his Right Royal Family a spin-off documentary series thanks to his outstanding turn on Who Do You Think You Are in 2018. His reaction to finding out his unbroken ancestral line leads back to royalty was a TV highlight of the year. This two-parter sees him expand on that royal pedigree and pick out the most interesting royals from his lineage in what he promises to be a right nutty royal caper.

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‘Joanna Lumley’s India’

Another jaunty ITV travelogue for those of us going no futher than the park this summer presented by Joanna Lumley (don’t be fooled by the rocks that I’ve got, I’m still J-Lum from the block), grande dame of the small screen and the lady who the word mellifluous was coined for. This is a three part whistle-stop documentary on ITV and J-Lum (I’m going to use it until it catches on) is keen to play up the family connection. She was born in Srinagar, Kashmir, in the last days of the Raj and her family ties go back several generations. One might think she’s rather brave trading on being directly related to the old colonial empire. Thinking about it, that apostrophe in the title might be a little insensitive.

But don’t worry – this is not a programme designed for much thought or reflection. “Gosh!” and “Fabulous!” she enthuses every few minutes about everything. To her credit it certainly doesn’t seem forced and her sparky interest is very infectious. She talks with her hands in rhapsodies about everything – Morgana Robinson’s impression of her on The Agency is entirely accurate. Amusingly the Radio Times¬†insists she’s toned it down a bit this time!

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‘Blind Date’

If I said to you, in a lyrical scouse accent “Number one, what’s your name and where do you come from?” would you know what on earth I was on about?

These magic words, filled with excitement and a certain frisson of romance were of course made famous by Cilla Black on the tv staple dating show Blind Date that ran from 1985 all the way up until 2003. At the height of its popularity in the 1980s, 18.2 million tuned in to ITV on a Saturday night to watch the excruciating, the charming, and the unlikely pairings who sometimes rode off into the sunset together.

Fourteen years on, the format has been faithfully resurrected by Channel 5. Paul O’Grady is a damn good fit for the role of presenter. Famously he and Cilla were great friends. The start of the show is a little tribute to Cilla. He jokes Blind Date was left to him in her will. He calls her the woman “who gave me two heart attacks and broke my nose in a Jacuzzi”. It was clearly a spectacular friendship.

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‘The Reassembler’ – On the Box

Well now, as you might imagine this was not on my list of shows to watch. But Mr H put it on and I wondered what it was about. It’s really a simple premise – spread out a bunch of parts, assemble an item, turn it on and see if it works – fronted by well-known presenter James May, of Top Gear fame. Mr H assures me you can’t actually judge a person by the company he keeps, or can you? If the men you worked with were famously nobbers, I might think you were a nobber too. But all that nonsense is in the past and while James has been out of work he’s been cultivating the indoor hobo look and now he looks a bit like a speccy chinchilla.

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